If this is running away, Ive been running a long time.

Dear Blogging World,

If you ever learn anything from this blog, understand this: you should never write a blog post when under the influence of emotions, especially the emotion of utter emptiness. What you write, whatever it is, will be impossible to take back, even if you regain your senses and delete the post later, you have no idea who may have seen it in between that time.

Matthew 12:34 "...the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart."

Write what you want, write what is on your heart - but always read it again when you are not full of that emotion, making positive sure that you truly mean every single word you use. I will be the first to admit, I do not follow this rule enough. I strongly-dislike rereading what I write, and that is a big immaturity on my part. It is so vitally important to give a good witness, in everything you do! Let your words show your heart, because they will, whether you mean for them to or not.

Why am I writing this? Well, for the past half hour I was working on a post entitled "A Different 'Dear John' Letter." But it was full of anger and frustration and worst of all, emptiness. There was nothing good or uplifting in it at all. All I did was berate myself for past follies that, honestly, you have no business of knowing. My past mistakes are just that: the past. I can't go back and change them, but I can change how I act now, and in the future. And I can change how I react when I think back on my past errs - I can learn from them instead of just hating myself for them. I firmly believe that God has trials and temptations in our lives to not only test us but help us grow. After all, what is the point of test but to make sure we can know how to apply the material later on in life? And if we don't know the material then, we are to learn from that and never forget it. I hate the world's love of saying "you just need to forgive yourself." NO! Thats wrong! You don't "forgive yourself" - you ask apologies of those that you hurt, and you ask God's forgiveness, but you don't ask yourself for forgiveness! Im sorry, that probably sounds harsh, but hear me out: when people forgive, they typically say "forgive and forget", right? Those two words are almost synonymous now. Heads up: if you hurt me, and then ask my forgiveness, I will readily forgive you, but Im not forgetting. I'll not keep bitterness in me, but I will learn a lesson in how to better approach you in the future. Same with yourself: Don't ever forget your sin. Ever. You need to know how you got to the point where you sinned so you can look out for those same patterns later. Because there will be later tests. God lets you have these bumps now because those same bumps will show up later, and you need to be prepared for it. Another heads up: Experience is a hard teacher, and not always the best. Learn from others. Listen to me: listen to your parents and those wiser than you - they've gone through more life than you, and have faced those same problems. Figure out how they got there, and how they dealt with them. Don't force yourself to have to have the same regrets just so you can "learn." There are easier ways to receive knowledge. Be humble enough to learn from others.

Ok, lets go back to the beginning : Don't rant online. Don't rant in an email, or a Facebook message. Don't let your emotions run amuck to your friends, co-workers, and try not to lose it with your family. Don't rant at God. Its like the fire drill, except different. Stop. Drop [your problems]. Roll [in God's Word]. Ok, that last one didn't make any sense, but here's what I mean: Stop taking out your emotions on others. If you are easily angered, thats a big problem. Heres where the drop comes in: Drop your main issue. In your heart, you know what the big problem is: frustration that things aren't going your way. Take it to God, and drop it at His feet. He is already taking care of it, but you have to let it go. You trying to be Atlas doesn't mean you have the strength of Atlas. You trying to be God in your own life and issues isn't going to make you God. Its going to make you exhausted, short tempered and moody. Its just going to make your emotions even more of a rollercoaster. So roll in God's Word. Delve into His Word, and seek His Heart. Try to be like David "A man after God's own heart". That meant David was trying to think like God would think. Not BE God, but think like Him. Try and be as much of a mirror of God and His perfection as possible. How? Read God's Word. One of my favorite quotes , "He who reads, leads." But not just any book. Read good books. The best book to read, though, is the Bible. This is a perfect book. Make a habit of reading it, reading it so much you start thinking God's thoughts.

I need to stop this post, as I could keep going. Im terrible at sound bites.

This is as much a post directed at my own heart as it is out here for you to read. I hope you know that. Goodnight.

Sincerely,

a serious Alice

I think an update would be good. But you probably don't want to read it.

Dear Blogging World,

Im not in the mood to update right now, unless you count complaining. I have a cough and headache that have been stalking me for two weeks now; I can't cook for fear I'll contaminate the food and make everyone sick; I haven't exercised in ages and therefore want to eat chocolate; my heart refuses to listen to reason and has caused mini wars in my head [come to think of it, is this the root of my headache?]. I'm listening to Sherlock Holmes and the new Pride and Prejudice soundtrack, and wishing I could escape back to England and Scotland. Especially the Isle of Lewis, the Outer Hebrides, Past the Highlands. Or Scrooby or York or Cambridge in England. I crave time, an ipod and headphones, and a working camera. And my Bible. And no way for anyone to get in touch with me until I can become a nice human again. However, this is not on God's agenda for me right now. And its not on His agenda for me for tomorrow. So I shall just have to buck up and become a nice human again at home. And abroad, but Im not going abroad right now, so thats beside the point.

Ok, I need to get off this horrid spinning carousel of weakness and self-interest. Can I interest you in some pictures instead?

I need to be as happy as this guy.

Mint green lanterns, yay! Not to be confused with "The Green Lantern", a comic book hero...

I adore dried flowers.

Especially in wooden buckets...

Fall is my favorite season.

Pumpkins have a great deal to do with it.

And how everything looks picturesque during this season.

Except me. Which is why I have pictures of other things instead. Like some of my collection of bottles. :)

Sincerely,

Alice

Quoting Spurgeon

November 3rd, Checkbook of Faith

In God's Time "For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry" (Habakkuk 2:3).

Mercy may seem slow, but it is sure. The LORD in unfailing wisdom has appointed a time for the outgoings of His gracious power, and God's time is the best time. We are in a hurry; the vision of the blessings excites our desire and hastens our longings; but the LORD will keep His appointments. He never is before His time; He never is behind. God's word is here spoken of as a living thing which will speak and will come. It is never a dead letter, as we are tempted to fear when we have long watched for its fulfillment. The living word is on the way from the living God, and though it may seem to linger, it is not in reality doing so. God's train is not behind time. It is only a matter of patience, and we shall soon see for ourselves the faithfulness of the LORD. No promise of His shall fail; "it will not lie." No promise of His will be lost in silence; "it shall speak." What comfort it will speak to the believing ear! No promise of His shall need to be renewed like a bill which could not be paid on the day in which it fell due-"it will not tarry." Come, my soul, canst thou not wait for thy God? Rest in Him and be still in unutterable peacefulness.

baker's string and paper hearts

Dear Blogging world,

My package came in the mail while I was gone!! Hooray! Olive Manna has a mini pack of three different colored baker's twine for a great deal, so I had to order some. They are so cute Im thinking of doing a photoshoot with them! ;)

Today's thoughts have revolved around string...which led me to think of one of my favorite oldies songs, Knock Three Times... which brought my mind to the thought of paper hearts...which of course led to the thought: how fragile our hearts are! Here are some verses flitting through my mind:

James 1: 2-8 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does."

Jeremiah 17: 9 "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?"

So what are we to do? How are we to think about relationships, whether its a romantic relationship, or friends, family or acquaintances? Where do we look for advice? Do we google it? Do we look on Yahoo! or at the latest stars' love lives? What does the Bible have to say?

1 Corinthians 3:19 "For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God..."

Now where are we to look? If we can't model the world's opinion of love, who are we to model?

Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 11:1 , "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ."

So we are to imitate great men? Well, what defines a great man? That he is an imitator of Christ. Why should we exemplify Christ in our relationships? Because we are to imitate Him in all matters and areas of life and living. If we are to do as 2 Corinthians 5: 7 says, and "walk by faith, not by sight," then we should have as our ambition "whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him." [2 Corinthians 5:9]

2 Corinthians 5: 14, 15 " For the love of Christ controls us, having concluded this, that one died for all, therefore all died; and He died for all, so that they who live might no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf."

If the love of Christ controls us, what does His love look like? How should we look?

1 Corinthians 13: 4 - 7 " Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things..."

Just some thoughts, I'll let you draw conclusions as I am late for an appointment! Have a fabulous day!

Sincerely,

Alice