If this is running away, Ive been running a long time.

Dear Blogging World,

If you ever learn anything from this blog, understand this: you should never write a blog post when under the influence of emotions, especially the emotion of utter emptiness. What you write, whatever it is, will be impossible to take back, even if you regain your senses and delete the post later, you have no idea who may have seen it in between that time.

Matthew 12:34 "...the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart."

Write what you want, write what is on your heart - but always read it again when you are not full of that emotion, making positive sure that you truly mean every single word you use. I will be the first to admit, I do not follow this rule enough. I strongly-dislike rereading what I write, and that is a big immaturity on my part. It is so vitally important to give a good witness, in everything you do! Let your words show your heart, because they will, whether you mean for them to or not.

Why am I writing this? Well, for the past half hour I was working on a post entitled "A Different 'Dear John' Letter." But it was full of anger and frustration and worst of all, emptiness. There was nothing good or uplifting in it at all. All I did was berate myself for past follies that, honestly, you have no business of knowing. My past mistakes are just that: the past. I can't go back and change them, but I can change how I act now, and in the future. And I can change how I react when I think back on my past errs - I can learn from them instead of just hating myself for them. I firmly believe that God has trials and temptations in our lives to not only test us but help us grow. After all, what is the point of test but to make sure we can know how to apply the material later on in life? And if we don't know the material then, we are to learn from that and never forget it. I hate the world's love of saying "you just need to forgive yourself." NO! Thats wrong! You don't "forgive yourself" - you ask apologies of those that you hurt, and you ask God's forgiveness, but you don't ask yourself for forgiveness! Im sorry, that probably sounds harsh, but hear me out: when people forgive, they typically say "forgive and forget", right? Those two words are almost synonymous now. Heads up: if you hurt me, and then ask my forgiveness, I will readily forgive you, but Im not forgetting. I'll not keep bitterness in me, but I will learn a lesson in how to better approach you in the future. Same with yourself: Don't ever forget your sin. Ever. You need to know how you got to the point where you sinned so you can look out for those same patterns later. Because there will be later tests. God lets you have these bumps now because those same bumps will show up later, and you need to be prepared for it. Another heads up: Experience is a hard teacher, and not always the best. Learn from others. Listen to me: listen to your parents and those wiser than you - they've gone through more life than you, and have faced those same problems. Figure out how they got there, and how they dealt with them. Don't force yourself to have to have the same regrets just so you can "learn." There are easier ways to receive knowledge. Be humble enough to learn from others.

Ok, lets go back to the beginning : Don't rant online. Don't rant in an email, or a Facebook message. Don't let your emotions run amuck to your friends, co-workers, and try not to lose it with your family. Don't rant at God. Its like the fire drill, except different. Stop. Drop [your problems]. Roll [in God's Word]. Ok, that last one didn't make any sense, but here's what I mean: Stop taking out your emotions on others. If you are easily angered, thats a big problem. Heres where the drop comes in: Drop your main issue. In your heart, you know what the big problem is: frustration that things aren't going your way. Take it to God, and drop it at His feet. He is already taking care of it, but you have to let it go. You trying to be Atlas doesn't mean you have the strength of Atlas. You trying to be God in your own life and issues isn't going to make you God. Its going to make you exhausted, short tempered and moody. Its just going to make your emotions even more of a rollercoaster. So roll in God's Word. Delve into His Word, and seek His Heart. Try to be like David "A man after God's own heart". That meant David was trying to think like God would think. Not BE God, but think like Him. Try and be as much of a mirror of God and His perfection as possible. How? Read God's Word. One of my favorite quotes , "He who reads, leads." But not just any book. Read good books. The best book to read, though, is the Bible. This is a perfect book. Make a habit of reading it, reading it so much you start thinking God's thoughts.

I need to stop this post, as I could keep going. Im terrible at sound bites.

This is as much a post directed at my own heart as it is out here for you to read. I hope you know that. Goodnight.

Sincerely,

a serious Alice